December 07, 2004

Back in Black

It's been a while since I last wrote...busy with classes, foolishness at work, fighting with a dip into a minor bit of depression.

My employer is three or four months into a lingering reorganization. The latest news is that, as of January 1, I'll officially have two levels of no management. Both my immediate supervisor's position and the supervisor above are unfilled.

Right now I only have one level of no management (since my boss was called up to military service in May). I guess they think we're doing such a great job on our own that they've decided to give us more of the same (HA).

I've had to deal with bouts of real depression before, so I know this phase wasn't bad at all by comparison. But since I was lingering on the edge of getting serious with it, I ended up increasing my antidepressants for a while. Until I realized I was having side effects from the higher dosage, and backed down to my normal level again. But it helped me over the hump, and I'm dealing with things better again.

I've been on antidepressants for several years now. According to what I've read, people with epilepsy have strong tendencies toward depression. It might be associated with epilepsy itself, or the meds we take to prevent seizures, or maybe both.

I do know that I grew up with recurring depressive feelings since I was very young -- so it's not the meds alone. I thought that it was normal to experience life that way. I was an adult before I had gained enough life experience and perspective to see that my point of view was different from others', and to decide to look for help.

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