August 09, 2004

Ways to wear a lame ID badge: The Obedient, The Hanger-On, and Stealth

My employer has issued ID badges to all staff. Naturally they are not the same cards that let us in the building.

While employee safety is paramount, of course, we're not going to spend too much money on ID cards. Instead, HR went around with an outdated digital camera taking pictures of staff. They laid out the digital pix in a Word template, printed with a color laser printer, and laminated them. Wow: ID badges that could be counterfeited by grade-schoolers!

The Obedient is the first pose that I saw around the building: ID badges hanging politely from the supplied lanyards like nooses around their necks.

The Hanger-On is more to my taste, where the lame badge is clipped to the very bottom of one's shirt tail, as if it might fall off and be lost forever at any moment. Oops! How did that happen?

Stealth holds to the letter of the policy while delightfully flouting the spirit. It states that the badges must be "worn," but neglects to specify whether they must be worn in a visible area. Therefore, Stealth wears his badge clipped to the inside of his pants pocket.

I've only begun to catalog the variety of opposition to this dictum! I must continue to roam the halls and blog my discoveries.

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